E Y E W A N N A B E

All this talk yesterday about Double Impact gave me a quick hankering to rewatch the film. It's one of the few Van Damme films I don't have in my collection but luckily, thanks to my friend Mr. Netflix, I have just as readily available as Twin Dragons was.

Double Impact is not only a fun film but once of JCVD's best. When Chad and Alex's parents are murdered, the twin babies are split up: one baby is taken by a nursemaid and the other is taken by the family's bodyguard. Chad grows up in California to a privileged lifestyle with "Uncle Frank". Alex grows up in the mean streets of Hong Kong. When Frank is finally able to locate Alex, he tells Chad the truth and both make their way to HK. Why tell the truth? Because after 25 years it is time for the twins to know the truth: that their parents were murdered by the Chinese Triads. What happens next? Pure Van Damage baby.

The characters played by Van Damme we've already seen before...which makes this movie so much fun. Chad, as the wide eyed twin, is played alot like Kickboxer's Kurt Sloane. He's fun, eager, and perhaps not as street-wise as everyone else. Alex, with his black outfit and slicked-back hair, comes off just like No Retreat No Surrender's Ivan the Russian. Alex is a mean SOB who really takes no shit from no one.

A big gripe with Twin Dragons is that both parts were really...Jackie Chan. What I mean by that is - watching Double Impact you feel like you are watching Van Damme as Chad...but there is a big difference between Chad and Alex. They feel like twins who are nothing alike and PLAYED BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE even though they are both just Van Damme.

There's two other big selling points to the flick. #1 is Geoffrey Lewis, who plays Frank. He's starred with everyone from Clint Eastwood to Sylvester Stallone - and who can forget his role in Only the Strong??? #2 is the return of Bolo Yueng who squared off against JCVD in Bloodsport. Bolo really makes an awesome villain and he is awesome beating up two JCVD's in this film.

Sure this film is far from perfect - there are some truly cheesy scenes here especially some of the gun fighting...but I'm SO okay with it. It's just a fun film and the doubling effects are done very, very well.

There's no need to really discuss the rest of the plot - is there? Van Damme and Van Damme go after bad guys. They all die. There is an AWESOME fight scene at the end with bodybuilder Corrina Everson (looking quite built and HAWT). Van Damme vs. a hot bodybuilder chick?!?! Didn't I tell you this movie had everything!?!?!?

To top this all off the film is directed by Van Damme fave Sheldon Lettich who wrote Bloodsport, wrote and directed Lionheart, plus a bunch of later Van Damme flick.  Lettich also wrote and directed Dacascos flick Only The Strong.  So YAY!

Major Van Dammage in this flick...happy to say it still holds up nicely.

In terms of action movies it is way, way, WAY too easy to bash Double Team. Pairing Van Damme with Dennis Rodman just doesn't 'seem' like a bad idea - it 'IS' a bad idea.

It had been a number of years since I watched Double Team and in those years my kung fu/action film knowledge has probably increased 100 fold. The first new knowledge I had about this film is that it is directed by Tsui Hark - a director/producer fairly infamous in HK. Some say he is fairly hard to work with. Some swear by him. He's produced/directed an amazing amount of films including Jet Li's Once Upon A Time In China series, John Woo's A Better Tomorrow series, and going all the way back to Yuen Biao's classic Zu Warriors From The Magic Mountain.

Would have Tsui Hark direct this film make it better or worse? My guess even back then would be the same as now: some kickass action with horrible acting.

Hark had some horrible acting takes in this film. It's hard to get great talking out of Van Damme at times and I'd say the directors who simply shoot, cut, and print are ones from the HK market like Hark and Ringo Lam. Obviously Van Damme is fully capable of amazing performances - from the current fan-rave JCVD going way back to Bloodsport.

Add Dennis Rodman here who cannot act. Who cannot speak. He's simply horrible. He's flamboyant Dennis Rodman put in some horrible clothing and made to try to look like he can fight. He can't. Flip that to Coolio from China Strike Force. Coolio was fun, he actually could act, and he could fight - whether that be him or at times his double - you couldn't tell nor care. If Van Damme was teamed with Coolio I think this movie would have had a lot more going for it.

The saving grace is, of course, Mickey Rourke. Rourke wasn't the golden child he is now since his resurrection thanks to Sin City and The Wrestler back when he filmed Double Team but that doesn't mean that he doesn't bring his amazing acting skills. He does - and when he's on film he certainly is the ultimate baddie. Is he on-screen enough? Of course he's not.

The plot of this film is certainly not important: Van Damme plays Quinn who comes out of retirement to take down his old nemesis Stavros (Rourke). Quinn is seemingly killed but wakes up on a beautiful island with all sorts of "dead agents". Stavros has declared war on the world and in investigating a bombing (the job of the "dead agents" on this island is to interpret information for different countries) he sees a clue that Stavros has his hands on Quinn's pregnant wife. So Quinn escapes the island, teams up with his arms dealer Yaz (Rodman) and goes forth to save his wife and kill Stavros.

It is HARD to get through Double Team. The film is clunky and moves slow. I'm sure most people who don't have it in them would just turn this film off. That is actually a shame becuase the ending is actually done quite well. It's Van Damme and Rodman vs. Rourke and a tiger. A real life tiger. It's pretty damn sweet even with Rodman's horrible acting.

Sammo Hung is actually credited as a special action coordinator on the film and I'm not sure how he helped - but I wouldn't be surprised if the ending of the film was chorerographed by Sammo.

Speaking of the credits - there is a song done by Crystal Waters WITH Dennis Rodman. You really have to hear it to believe it. ACTUALLY - the song is ten times better than his entire performane on film.

If you want great Van Damme go watch JCVD. If you want great Rourke go watch The Wrestler. If you want great Rodman..well...you'll never find that but you might have a better time with Simon Sez just because of Dane Cook.

As for Double Team - it's a bad film with a great ending probably made even worse by the horrible directing of Tsui Hark and the awful acting of Dennis Rodman. For Van Damme fans like me only.

Back in the days of VHS reserving a title was nearly unheard of. That was until Batman came out on VHS - the film caught the video market by storm. When my local video store said you could pre-order it early, I did. Then I had to wait. Which sucked. Batman would end up being the first film I ever paid for - but would never be the first film I actually OWNED. That pleasure goes to Jean Claude Van Damme's Bloodsport.

Bloodsport is the film that made Van Damme a star. He trolled around Hollywood for a couple years: he was dancing in Breakin', was relieved of duties on Predator for the monstorous Kevin Peter Hall, and played the awesome Ivan the Russian in Cory Yuen's No Retreat No Surrender. Bloodsport was his breakout role and we would all be soon treated to great films like Double Impact, Timecop, and more. YAY!

Bloodsport is "based on the true story of Frank Dux." Depending on who you talk to Dux is a martia arts genius or a complete sham. Many articles have been written about "the lies" Frank Dux has told - and many times these have been dispusted in other articles and court documents. Who is right? Who knows. Does that make Bloodsport less entertaining? Hell no - the film still packs a punch all these years later.

The film follows a basic premise: Dux (Van Damme) is going to Hong Kong to fight in the Kumite. He meets Ray Jackson (the awesome Donald Gibb. OGRE!) and the two become friends outside the ring. The Kumite is a fight held every couple years and all the world's best fighters come to participate in the single elimination matches. The ultimate man to fight is Chong Li played by pendulant Bruce Lee baddie Bolo Yueng. On the way to fighting Chong Li we see Dux kick everyone's ass with the great kicks Van Damme became known for. Plus he gets to hook up with hottie reporter Leah Ayres who is trying to get a story on the Kumite.

A simple premise but one that plays well thanks to the fighting in the ring. Many great fighters were cast in the movie and they come off as characters in Street Fighter 2...years before the game even hit. I could always see myself playing a Bloodsport game and playing as Jackson, Hossein, Dux, Chung Li, Suan Paredes, or Paco. It's too bad Capcom didn't actually make a game based on the property.

The film has a great cast. Van Damme and Donald Gibb have great chemistry - you believe the two could be friends in real life. Roy Chiao plays Dux's teacher, known for his roles in Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon and Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. And who can forget Oscar winner Forest Whitaker as an Army official trying to bring Dux back to the states!?!?!? FOREST WHITAKER!!!

It's been awhile since I watched Bloodsport so, in doing these Kung Fu Reviews, I'm glad this came off the DVD shelf. Regardless of the real life Frank Dux this Hollywood version still kicks some major ass. While I don't think Van Damme is the fastest fighter around he really shows some speed in this flick...especially his kicks. 

Plus the flick has the best lines! "No! Bottom Brick!" "Who cares if Bruce Springsteen is his shidoshi!" "Dux? Like put up your dukes, right?" "Very good. But bricks not hit back." "What's the matter? Too handsome for ya?" "What kind of a deal?" "OK USA!" "What is bet?" "Ha! You lose, American asshole."  "It's why they call this thing Bloodsport kid."

Bloodsport rocks and for those who forget that Van Damme can be badass, just watch this film and enjoy.